Last night after I had put the boys to bed, I was furiously working on my lessons for Ladies Bible class today. It was getting late and I still had a lot to do. Then Jonathan came in looking upset. He told me he could not sleep because of the bad thoughts he was having. Oh boy, I thought, what now? This is the child who had trouble going to sleep recently because he glimpsed a man in a sheet pretending to be a ghost on Gilligan's Island. He knew it was a man in a sheet, but it was the scary noises that got to him. This is the same child who had to take showers instead of baths for 2 weeks after he saw a National Geographic video that included a huge snake swimming in the Amazon river.
I asked him if he could tell me what was wrong so we could talk about it. He told me he did not want to talk about it. He started to calm down a little, so I continue to fish for information and try to reassure him. I asked him if it was something scary like a snake, or something scary that could happen. Something bad that could happen is what he told me.
Now I am starting to get a little concerned. He says he is worried about when...when...and he can't even finish his sentence. I am worried that he has realized that his parents, grandparents, brother, the dog could die someday. I am already thinking "I can't promise that no one is going to die, because what if something did happen and then he would think I lied to him." All these things are running through my head as I beg him to tell me what is bothering him. Finally, through sobs and tears, he tells me. He says he is worried what will happen when...when he doesn't have Jules any more. He breaks down and cries. It is all I can do not to laugh. Jules is his teddy bear! Jules sleeps with Jonathan every night and is a very well traveled bear. When we travel, Jules goes too.
I tried to reassure him by showing him with the fact that his old momma still had her teddy bear. My bear does not sleep with me (anymore) so he did not take much comfort in that. He eventually calmed down enough to go back to bed, holding Jules tightly.